The Dance of Catch and Release

- Iceland, by Laszlo Windhoffer (c)

I recently finished reading a book about Indra Devi, a Russian-born nobility who was the first to introduce the ancient discipline of yoga to Kremlin leadership as well as to Hollywood stars including Gloria Swanson and Greta Garbo.  Known to her followers as Mataji, which means mother, she was a student of Sri Tirumalai Krishnamacharya, the legendary guru who gained worldwide attention for stopping his heartbeat for two minutes (and yes, he started it, too!). At a time when yoga was almost an exclusively masculine pursuit, she was his first female student. What caught my attention about this fascinating woman’s life is the fact that one of the yoga ethics she practiced most of all was Aparigraha or non grasping/non attachment. 

In “The Goddess Pose” the author Michelle Goldberg talks about how Indra Devi frequently traveled the world, often changing locations and friends without giving the changes much thought.  She lived in Russia, Germany, China, and India before she came to the States.  She later moved to Mexico, back to India and finally settled down in Argentina before dying at the age of 102. Very often she would give up everything she possessed and simply moved to new places without having anything or anybody there awaiting her.  For instance, she made her decision to go to the States based on the fact that the next ship to leave port from Europe was heading to the United States, even though her original plans were to embark for India.  At the time, Indra Devi was interested only in these two destinations. When she got to the States, she rented a simple apartment in Hollywood and started teaching yoga.  She established new social connections and became a yoga teacher. Her students also included movie stars.  This contradictory theme of putting an effort into creating a circle of friends and students and then letting go of all she created is a thread that is woven through the entire life of Indra Devi.  She never got tired of meeting new people, trying new places and having new experiences.  

As it turns out, the theme of putting effort into our passions and then letting go is at the center of the entire Yoga philosophy.  It invites us to enjoy the process of achieving our goals, but let go of the final results – opening our minds to the pursuit of new experiences. It is what we also call living and enjoying the experience of being in the present. How many of us can live in the present without worrying about the future or the past.  It is hard to notice the present when we we’re occupied with navigating daily complexities and challenges.  Yoga addresses this by establishing a goal and techniques for quieting one’s mind.  Aparigrapha is one of these techniques.  According to Yoga Sutra Chapter 1, Verse 12, “Abhyasa Vairagyabhyam Tannirodhah – Practice and detachment are the means to still the movements of consciousness.” (Light on the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali by B.K.S. Iyengar). The practice of Yoga, in essence, is to learn to control and to quiet the mind’s continual “chit-chat.” And it’s in the silence between two thoughts that our hearts open up and experience an intimacy with the source of our Being and the source of life.

There are various interpretations behind “Aparigraha.”  In fact, each time I tried to write about it I ended up frustrated and scrapped my works in progress.  I just didn’t feel as though I truly understand the subject well enough.  It is easy to say, “Oh I will practice non-attachment tomorrow, or next week or next year,” but how do you apply it to the yoga mat and to life in general?  Does it mean that you will have a non-chalant attitude towards your friends and family?  Does it mean that you will quit your job and go other places where you can get new experiences?  And how do you figure out where is the right place to go to or what is the right thing to do?

As previously mentioned, Aparigrapha is the practice in Yoga for quieting our minds.  Aparigrapha has two companion practices -- Abhyasa and Vairagya.  These two companions are very important to practicing non-attachment.   “Abhyasa” means yoga practice and “Vairagya” means non-attachment to material things.  Without these two we can not fully practice Aparigraha.  And to practice productively “Practice has to be prolonged, uninterrupted and filled with enthusiasm.” (Yoga Sutra, Chapter 1, Verse 14).

What does it mean to have prolonged practice?  It usually means uninterrupted practice for a sustained period of time.  When we first start practicing yoga we are enthusiastic about classes and actively plan on attending classes frequently.  However when after just a few classes we don’t see changes in flexibility of our hamstrings, for example, we tend to get discouraged.  Then, the enthusiasm wears off.  Practicing yoga poses requires time and effort and it is not easy to keep on going when some of the poses present challenges.  It’s not uncommon for yoga practitioners to quit doing yoga for a while only to restart again after being inspired by a friend or some other event.  After restarting yoga we will practice more and after a few weeks of seemingly little to no improvement we give up.  This is termed “yo-yo Yoga” in the community.

In Yoga, as with most things in life, quality is more important that quantity. To bring quality to a pose you align the body with balance, extend fully, and then go to your healthy edge, breathe, relax and observe your experience. This process in itself stimulates circulation, cleansing and rejuvenation every cell in the body while cultivating mindfulness. Interestingly, two people doing the same seated forward bend will actually get the same benefit from the same pose even if one can only touch the fingers to the shins and the other can rest the forehead on the legs; that is, they both are practicing to their own healthy edge with quality and awareness.

Now, how can we cultivate enthusiasm in our practice? We do our Yoga practice with dreams, visions, and goals, both big and small. Whatever the dreams are, we need to practice regularly and faithfully, but to simultaneously let go of any expectations of any desired outcomes. We need to let go of all expectations of achieving long hamstrings, the lotus pose, and enlightenment. There is a certain excitement and fun in achieving and being able to do the “finished pose.” But this excitement is short lived. The true enthusiasm and fulfillment in our practice is only found in the process, in the moment-to-moment awareness. The paradox is that when we let go (i.e., practice Aparigraha) and detach ourselves from any expectations amid full effort and determination, the body, mind and heart can open up to the process and to the present moment, and in the Presence of Now invite genuine enthusiasm.

Another way to add some enthusiasm into your practice is to add a little smile to your lips while exhaling in Yoga poses. A little smile will relax and release tensions in the face and mind and change the chemistry of your body in a positive way.

I have discovered for myself that the longer I practiced Yoga continuously the less I thought about material possessions. With every pose I remind myself that each asana is a gift to my body, a gift to myself and a gift to life. And that my practice is continually opening my body and with that I can help others with more energy, clarity, and compassion.

And it’s in the continual dance between effort and letting go that the secret of Yoga is experienced. Indra Devi was a professional dancer in real life and she was very good at dancing the dance between effort and letting go. She was the Master. 

"Share It or Bare It!"

Those who believe they can do something and those who believe they can't are both right.
- Henry Ford

What would you do if somebody told you that you have to either 1) tell your deepest secrets to a stranger, or 2) go naked in front of this same stranger?   To give it additional context, let’s assume that you’ll never see this stranger again.

For me, my initial reaction to the question was that I would choose to go naked, but then, after thinking about it some more, I wasn’t sure that was the answer I would pick.  The snippets below describe my context and thinking.  

Two years ago, I went with longtime friend to a small resort outside of San Francisco.  Since neither she or I had ever been to that part of the California, we decided to do it in style and rent a Mustang convertible to enjoy the scenic drive to the resort. With the roof down we drove along the cost, through the mountains, and across the valleys and hills.  We were visualizing ourselves soaking in hot mineral baths, staring at the stars from the pool at night, doing yoga with the sunrise and having body massages in the afternoon.

When we finally dropped our luggage at the resort and made it to the hot springs, we realized that everybody there was naked!  Men and women all congregated nude around the grounds and in the springs.  To be honest, this wasn’t a total surprise since we knew this resort included a ‘clothing optional’ policy.  That said, we assumed only a few would partake in that, and the others, like us, would prefer to keep clothes on.   Despite the resort being a respectable place the nakedness of the strangers still didn’t sit right with me.

My own reaction surprised me. After all, I grew up in Ukraine where I used to swim naked in the Black Sea at night with my girlfriends.  We were thrilled being one with the nature and we were comfortable with ourselves – we accepted each other as we were - liberated and free of feeling of being exposed and certainly not vulnerable or judged.  I suppose the difference was that in Ukraine there was never mixed company – it was always just us girls.   In this California resort, men and women shared the same pools, saunas and baths.

When my girlfriend and I finally got up the nerve to go to the baths and saunas, we did so wearing our bathing suits.  We were literally the only ones who were not nude.  It was a funny scene!  Being dressed actually made it worse because we knew everyone else there was looking at us as if trying to say, “Come on, man…this is California wildlife…be one with nature!” If I were an outside observer of the situation, I would have thought that the two guests in bathing suits were not from California but probably from some stuffy city like Boston or Washington D.C – and they were right, that’s where we’re from!

For a brief moment I considered taking off my bathing suit, but in the end I just couldn’t do it.  From the conservative angle that I had at the time, being naked in front of strangers felt exposed, vulnerable, and undignified. However, from the perspective of a person who was looking for a feeling of connectedness, uninhibitedness and togetherness, sharing a tub in a birthday suit was the way to be.

As previous noted, I initially assumed that going naked would be easier than telling deepest secrets, but then after thinking for a while, decided that, for me, both options are equally difficult.  Telling secrets to a stranger means that you have to strip off security blankets and reveal something about yourself that is sacred to you. This makes me feel far more vulnerable and exposed than simply being naked.  After all, humans were designed to be naked, but were not designed to let others see your inner thoughts.  In telling secrets to strangers, I fear the potential for developing an unwanted intimate situation; particular if these secrets are told to the opposite sex.  This is even true if the secrets aren’t sexual; rather, the simple act of bearing your soul forms a bond that can branch off in many unexpected directions.  Remember the movie “When Harry Met Sally”?  After Harry and Sally shared secrets about their relationship struggles, they ended up in bed!

In the end, how one answers the ‘share it or bare it’ question is ultimately a personal decision that various greatly among people.  Someone blessed with a beautiful body may still feel vulnerable exposing it, whereas someone who typically is open and communicative may feel vulnerable exposing certain secrets.  This blog is intended to give food for thought on how we each perceive ourselves in the face of the community, how we navigate social norms and how certain situations make us feel vulnerable and exposed.  You can ask me what all of this has to do with yoga and how can you respond to this situation from yogic prospective?

All around the world, people can now engage in a wide range of activities while naked.  You can bungee jump, skydive, visit public swimming pools on “nude nights,” take yoga classes and fly to your holiday in the nude on a German airline. If I had to face a situation where I had to make a decision based on the choice of “bare or share,” I can make this decision based on yoga ethics.  In yoga world, we do our best to live by ethics called “The Yamas and Niyamas”.  Yamas are applied to how we deal with the outside world. Niyamas are the ethics we use towards ourselves. 

While writing this blog I learned from “A Brief History of Nakedness” by Philip Carr-Gomm that “if you are nude you are unclothed and knowingly observed, while nakedness refers to the ‘innocent’ state of simply being uncovered.” According to another definition by an art critic John Berger, “to be naked is to be oneself. To be nude is to be seen by others and yet not recognized for oneself.”   In everyday situations the difference between these two terms is a matter of choice.  If you are undressed in front of strangers, they won’t question if you are nude or naked.  They would simply use one or other term interchangeably. However, these two definitions are important to me as a yogi.  From the point of you of a yogi practitioner, the word “naked” appeals more to me since it means “to be oneself.”  Yoga encourages us to live according to one’s own truth. So going naked in front of strangers would depend on your own truth or your understanding of what it means to you “to be oneself.”

As to sharing deepest secrets, it would be fine to share them as long as they are not going to harm anybody, including yourself.  It would be in line with the first yama “Ahimsa,” which is non-harming self or others.

Back to the original question, ‘share it or bare it’ -- what would you do? 

Please leave a comment down below -- if you feel like telling a stranger!

Transitions in Yoga Mirror Transitions in Life

“Life is one big transition.”

-Willie Stargell

Going through transitions in yoga, is like going through transitions in life – we are doing our best to keep our balance and not to collapse.

I love to practice yoga on the beach by myself. Typically, I will go to the beach early in the morning just as the sun is rising, and before too many people are out and about.  One time, in the middle of my practice, another yoga practitioner made his way to the beach and began his routine not too far away from me.  I know, in general, that yogis should not look and compare themselves to other practitioners, but this time I could not resist.  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see how smooth this man’s transitions were between each pose – he was gliding effortlessly from pose to pose with such ease and grace that it mesmerized me.  I could not stop watching him; even after I went back to my hotel room, I continued to observe his moves from the window.   I truly admired his incredible skill.

Yoga teachers often say that the way you practice yoga on the mat reflects how you deal with events in your life outside of the studio.  If this is the case, this man probably moves through life with ease and grace.

Not many practitioners are as skillful in transitions as the man I saw at the beach.  Transitions are hard for everybody both in yoga and in life.  In yoga, transitions require focus, total body and mind engagement and continual practice. In life, we go through many transitions. We move from becoming a parent to having an empty nest; we say good-bye to people we love, we move from job to job, get promotions, change places we live and transition from being young to being old.  Transitions, even happy ones like weddings and birthdays, can be stressful. They conjure up mixed feelings and often bring anxiety and sometimes even despair. Whatever the circumstances, navigating this gray zone of transitions can be difficult, putting us into awkward emotional spaces where we have cut ties with what we know but have not quite settled into what is new. During these times, when everything seems to be in flux, when our old patterns have collapsed, we may feel unsteady. This is the time to explore and proactively make decisions on where you want to head in your new situation.

When I was a novice yoga practitioner, transitions were not on my mind.  I would focus on putting a lot of effort into simply staying in a pose without losing balance.  Progress at that time was judged by how long I could remain in a given pose without faltering.  Now, my practices often include a more advanced and focused practice during which one of my teachers keeps the class in a plank pose for a long time while saying, “That’s how transition feels like in life – it is trying, shaky, and can be unstable. You can lose balance if you don’t breathe and don’t keep the entire body together by engaging your abdomen, pressing your front thighs upward, and lengthening your tailbone toward your heels.”  One might think this is a lot to remember while you are trying to keep your balance. Who cares about transitions at that moment?  Not too many people do, including me - all I care about at the moment is not to break the pose and collapse for rest on the floor.

During transitions, we tend to overly focus on one thing and feed our insecurities and fears causing anxiety and uncertainty. Instead, we should try to shift our focus to something else.  For example, during real-world stressful moments of transition, we may help somebody in need.  Doing so helps us remember that everyone struggles at times.  Having a support system of friends, family and colleagues is important for any transition.

In yoga, we also have a support system that helps us to go through transitions.  It consists of breath, body, mind and community.  When I practice yoga, I first focus on bringing my thoughts internally, and then I take a deep slow breath in, lengthen my spine and move my body with a long exhale into the next pose. In class, while I am moving into the Upward-Facing Dog, my teacher will often remind me to “inhale, open your heart and look in front of you, then on an exhale, round your upper back, then middle back, then lower back, engage your belly and push your hips back into a Downward-Facing Dog.” I follow these instructions and transition into the new pose and with each new breath I feel like it is the next step into a new me.

All I need to do is take a deep breath, open my heart, face the situation and on exhale embrace it – step by step. When I follow my breath by moving from pose to pose, I feel like I am gliding with ease and steadiness into a new transformed me.

"Step back in perspective, open your heart and welcome transition into a new phase of life.” 

― Linda Rawson

Bonus Exercise

When confronting change, use this exercise to remind yourself that only through change are we able to evolve.  Kneel in Child’s Pose and visualize yourself as a seed deep underground. Imagine the effort of pushing up through the hard ground, followed by the delight of emerging as a bud into the brightness and warmth of a new day.

Thoughts on mindfulness and being in the present

“Life is a dance.  Mindfulness is witnessing that dance.” – Amit Ray

Everybody says it is important to live in the moment. The problem is how. In yoga, we often talk about mindfulness and being in the present, but how do we bring it into our day to day lives.  When we want to be mindful in yoga, we focus on our breath or mantra and we become an observer of ourselves. Yoga teachers often say, “…now, take this idea of mindfulness or being in the present and take it with you to your life outside of this studio.” But how do you exactly integrate it into day to day living? What should I focus on to reach that state of being in the present?

Often, we fret about what might happen in the future or dwell on our past. When we are at work we dream about the workday ending or an upcoming vacation.  Then when we take that vacation we’ve dreamed of, we often worry about the work we’ve left behind. We don’t focus on the present because our mind races from thought to thought and does not slow down – unless we make a conscious effort to slow it down. When we do slow our thoughts down, we start noticing the world around us which in turn lets us pause to live in the moment.

Recently, my husband and I went on vacation to St. Lucia to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary.   We stayed in a resort that had the most beautiful views of the ocean and mountains.  While there, we did not have to rush to meetings nor did we use phones or electronics.   And when we slowed down, an amazing thing happened - we started noticing abundance of life around us. 

For example, our daily routine began with a walk down a tree lined path that ran along the edge of a tropical forest.  The path was sunny and hilly, forcing us to stop frequently to rest and to take shelter from the glaring sun.   While we were resting, fruit from the nearby trees would fall right in front of us, prompting us to inspect them and discuss what type of fruit they were.   By the end of the walk, we had observed the fruit of Mango, Papaya, Almond and Cocoa trees – each beautiful in their own way. 

As another example, one morning we were getting ready for a walk and the rain started. So we decided to wait for the weather to clear out.  We took a seat on a wood sofa in the open-air living room and stared into the valley between the mountains and the ocean.  The rain stopped and immediately the sun came out – bringing with it a bright rainbow that stretched from mountaintop to mountaintop.    It was like a magical picture out of a fairy tale.  We were living in the moment; however, it was moment that would become part of our lives forever. 

There are many magic moments in our lives, but sometimes we are rushing to do too many things and we miss these moments.  So, today I would like to invite you to slow down and take as many pauses as you need in order to bring abundance and richness of life into every moment of your day.

What the YogaPragma.com Blog is All About

On the way to my first yoga class I thought that yoga was all about poses and flexibility. In fact, my initial objective for taking a yoga class was to become more flexible.  Now, after completing many workshops and my 200 hour teacher training course, I learned that yoga is not only about what you do on the mat, but what you take off the mat into the real world.  This Blog focuses on how to integrate physical, mental and philosophical aspects of yoga into daily life in a simple, pragmatic manner – hence the name YogaPragma.